Hello.

My Back hurts D: Especially when I arch or bend. But because Ive been moving around, like to tuition and back to training to accompany Cherie and LiTing, my back hurts and aches from the hurting. So now it hurts even when I don't move and stay still. And I took like a nap. I was hoping it'd be better D: I really hope its fine, Amanda told me to see a doctor if it still hurts tmr. PRAY THAT IT WON'T D: I want my back to be fine. We just started doing houkong tramp to stacked mats. I don't want to have to stop for a while. I don't want to lose my houkong too. I've already lost my zuan pa. I can't do it like I used too. Cause of constant backaches and pain. And I just lost it. And I still can't do zuan tang cause I can't turn with my toes properly. Now I regret playing on the tramp just now. I might have made it worst D:

Its my own stupid fault for my stupid backpain. I think when I was qitiao-ing, I knew I wasn't ready but I still went to fan and even tried to fan faster so I ended up juan-qian-ing and landed at the edge of the mat. But this time it went so fast I couldn't save myself. So I fell front to the tramp cracked my back and then the tramp sort of sank in and hit back so it got cracked a second time. And it was consecutive D: I did one more houkong after that and I wanhoued and stood but I couldn't wangshang anm. Cause of my back. And then I did a few qiankongs in the sponge pit. Then my back started really hurtng so I went and yajiao. So like the rest of the training I just bent down and stoned D: Cause when I'm ya-ing, my legs feel pain from the stretch so my brain's like sending messages to both so it reduces my back pain. Cause my brain can;t send all the pain messages to my back.

Today they stacked another mat so we houkong-ed onto 3 mats. Today's houkongs for me were the best and the worst. D: Cherie started too, it's her first time and she has to do 3 mats. But she did really well. She fan-ed faster, went all the way up, jumped really high and wanghoued. And she landed standing. For ALL her houkongs. And to think she was so worried she'd crash like me. She shldn't compare us, since I'm more crash prone and her houkong is way better and always has been. Cherie makes me feel demoralised D: She jumps higher then ALL OF THE SEC2s. And all her dongzuos are the nicest. She's got the nicest streddle, zuanpa, houkong, and qiankong. Still tell me she won't make it to comps. TSK. Oh well.

I realised my first tries are always adrenaline-rush-y, freaky to the eye( Cause people always go OMG and start laughing, mainly and usually Amanda though :D) , but somewhat fun. My first houkong at hwachong. Fan-ed 1 and 3/4 times and landed face down. First houkong at NY Sponge pit, went pretty high and landed standing, it was really fast. And when I landed, the impact travelled from my feet to my brain. :D First houkong from tramp to 2 stacked thick mats. Fan-ed 1 and 1/2 times and landed faced up. It was like fan fan PIAK! That was pretty cool :D But freaky at the same time, cause I open my eyes, so it was like WHOA and then PIAK! Like a pancake. My first houkong from tramp to 3 stacked mats, fan-ed on the spot and literally landed on the tramp! It was the sec 3's first time seeing my houkong tramp to mat so they were shocked. And from then on were more mentally prepared to push the mat. :D And each time I would receive screams from everyone watching :D Its actually really funny. But for those really WHOA-ones which is most of it, you're too shocked to realise anything around you. Maybe that's why when Cherie crashes like really FREAKILY, she'll just go "What happened?!" You don't fell pain you just sort of go into state of shock. Well at least until after a while, then you start noticing the pain. Well at least I managed to do a few lands standing. Its an improvement. :D

BUGGY Cheer up. Everyone has their ups and downs. Its not your fault and its your FIRST TIME and it was in NY Sponge pit so its OKAY. There was a time where I couldn't do houkong too. And I kept whack my head against the mat. Things happen. And its really all part of the learning process. Look at Cherie for example. She did have her share of crashes but look at her now. Even at hwachong when we did houkongs we didn't always land properly. Like we landed faced down, head down, and even knee-d our faces (All 3 of us Tessa Cherie and myself infact! But we knee-d different parts of our faces though :D ) And for me, even now, due to my horrible not wanghou-ing and sometimes juan-qian-ing, I keep doing things like killing my back, giving people heartattacks by landing on the the spot and stuff. SEE? I haven't really overcome houkong yet, but I know that I won't stop until I get it right and you should too. You definitely cannot give up now. And not just houkong, your other dongzuos too. I know if you put your mind to it, like Cherie, you can overcome any dongzuo. SO just keep trying. And know that when you're falling or crashing (TOUCH WOOD) YOUR TEAMMATES WILL BE THERE TO BAOHU AND CATCH YOU! :D Cheer up dear.