today ms chen was talking abt eating and stuff
then she came across the sickness thingo that pple get when they starve themselves because they think they're fat but they arent.
its like so SCARY. brain dying and stuff, FREAKKAYE.
andand i cant believe claudia and cherie thought i had it.
DO I LOOK LIKE I DO?
plus i cant cause IM FAT.
andand i eat ALOT. dunnoe why
see. i eat when im hungry (DUH)
i eat when im not hungry
and i eat when im bored ( mainly when im procrastinating! :D )-
esp when im mugging and doing hw, its really boring kays
and i eat when im sadd.
SEE? i eat THAT much
and thats why IM FAT. but dont worry
i dont really eat that much in school and stuff.
and now i mostly eat when its eating time
cause i dont want to starve or whatever,
cause i realised that im always hungry at the wrong time
like im hungry ten minutes before lunch
and its SUPERSUPER PAINFUL
and then when its lunch
im not hungry anm
and i wont be for the WHOLE DAY. seriously.
not even if there's training.
the moneydieting lasted a few weeks.
and pple were chanting "eateateat!"
so in the end i stopped the money diet
CAUSE. well. first opf all
the stopping began when i saw sushi!
haha. then i was like. aiya just eat lahs.
cause usually i dont go down to the canteen
cause i dont want to be tempted
and i was vert successful
until i walked down with elena that day. i was talking to her mah
YEAH. but now im fat again -TER
yeah. and broke too. so must cut down on the eating.
which means. must be hyper
and not bored. and not depressed.
cause depression is SCARY. and thinking abt depression stuff
makes you EVEN MORE DEPRESSED.
and i just realised i have serious moodswings
today in school i was super hyper
but when no one talk to me i was feeling very tired
and then on the way home until end of piano lesson
i was SUPER DEPRESSES.
not just with paino
but with (AHEM) STUFF.
darndarndarn. i need to start learning how to be happy.
when there aint nobody to cheer me up
and not eat when im depressed
cause if youve noticed (at least i have)
im hyper and happy in school.
but when i reach home
my face turns black
im grumpy tired emo depressed and stuff
and then i just waste time away
and maybe thats why i seem to have to go online
and blogging sorts of helps me
if i have no one to pour everything out to
blogs the best
cause well. it just feels good typing everything out
its like dumbledore. taking out his memories and putting it into that thingo.
feels like that.
WELL. at the end of a SO CALLED emo post?
i must have a happy ending or sth
like THERE'S ONE THING TO BE HAPPY ABT@!
TMR'S GYM CIP!!!!! :D yayye.
actually there's two tthings to look forward to.
SABBS ARE NEXT WEEK! :D
okays, that helped abit i guess?
weffy weekends. D;